I hate doing Yoga. I really, really hate it. Stretching I’ll do, flexibility exercises. I will do it. Pilates is fine. But something about doing Yoga—even if it involved doing the same thing I had already been doing, feels like a chore. I am probably the only one in my friend group to not fall into the irresistible charm of Yoga With Adriene.
But see the thing is, I want to be the kind of person who likes to do Yoga. When I imagine myself as someone like that. I see a completely different version of myself. Calm, collected, disciplined. Smiling at people *shudders* as I go to a Yoga class.
So I really want to be a Yoga person or whatever they are called. (I am not talking about proper Yogis because I feel like there is a distinction there.) But I don’t want it enough to really put in the work. I don’t like it enough to just push through the initial phase, hoping I may like it. Or just start getting its benefits even if I don’t like it.
See, I’m not lazy. I can and will work hard for things I need and for things I really, really want. That’s probably a short list of things, but I am not afraid to work for them. But for things like this—the wanting to be a person who likes Yoga — the level of yearning for them is not that high. It’s there though.
So I want these things, and I don’t want to work for them. What I end up doing is fantasizing about being that sort of person who does Yoga. And boy, what a good time this has been. Just sitting around completely zoned out, daydreaming about a different version of me going around doing things.
It’s like playing a simulated RPG game inside your head. But here the rub, sometimes… not always … sometimes I wonder how healthy this is. I mean, I know I’m not at a full Walter Mitty phase, but I’m inside my head a lot.
Well, who is it harming, anyhow? I question that voice’s judgment. Can’t a girl have some alternative hobbies? I mean, I know no one is going to stop me. Except for probably a future version of me who might realize she has had enough of it, but that’s not a thing for the present me to worry about, is it? All I gotta do is sit back, relax and daydream about myself being a Yoga person.
